shut it off

I want to shut off my brain.

I’ve tried everything today, not to think of her.

I’ve shopped; I’ve visited with friends; I’ve cleaned; I’ve watched TV; I’ve read.

But there’s no escape from it.  It looms before me, the anniversary of her death.  I can’t help but think, at this time last year, she was alive.  By tomorrow, she will have been dead one entire year.

How is that possible?

How have I not exploded with my grief?

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