You wince, of course, Gentle Reader, because to reread something you’ve written is to be exposed.
But you’re proud, too, because you’ve written this work, this work that’s funny, quirky, sexy, and just fun.
Last night, I began the reread of Marvel Among the Demons, in preparation for the rewriting I will commence. I want to finish this novel by spring break and pass it along to my agent, and see what he thinks of it. He’s read the first half and enjoyed it, but I’ve been stalled with school and going up for tenure. It has been nice getting back into the groove of reading and writing once more.
And let’s not forget that it’s been hard for me since Mom died. I don’t know why–I’ve talked to my psychologist about it–but it feels like I’m dishonoring her memory by allowing myself to enjoy things like reading, writing, movies, etc. This is the opposite of who my mom was. My mother loved life, was the life of any party she was at, and she would probably be angry with me if she knew I was carrying on in this way. But I am, and I’m trying, very hard, to get over it.
So back to work I go. Working on the YA novel, polishing up a few short stories and poems to put on the blog, and getting back to two articles that have been on hold. I look forward to working again, to getting back into the swing of things. I am, above all else, a person happiest when she has something to do.