Gentle Reader, I seem to be in a holding pattern for writing.
I finished my chapter that was due for the collection a few weeks ago, and so much of my writing time and energy was absorbed with academic endeavors. I’ve been working on research lately to see where I’m going next, as in, what project I will pursue. I’ve a few different ones I’m in various stages of completion on, so I put them all on a sheet on my campus office desk, and I’m working on each of them a little bit at a time: thinking, researching, organizing. I imagine I will be writing soon.
As for Marvel? I haven’t written in a few weeks. All of my grand plans to write every day has fallen away, partly because of early meetings on campus the last few weeks. But also, it’s so easy to fall behind on writing. It’s the easiest thing to skip, to push aside, to say, “I’ll do this later.” Which is frustrating, because I love writing. It’s just been so long since I’ve done it every day, I’m worried I’ve gotten terrible at it.
And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? I’m scared. Scared my work won’t be any good anymore, and that I’m fooling myself with this creative writing nonsense. I am so hard on myself, I’ve forgotten that my best work has started from very bad writing indeed. The bad comes first. Then you revise the spark of the idea into good.
Repeat. Ad nauseam.