There’s a lot to be said for having only dogs and not human children, but Gentle Reader, I am not the person to crow over someone else’s choice, the same as I ask people not the crow over theirs. Children are not right for me and DH. Enough said. We decided not to have children or adopt *at this moment in our lives* because it’s the right thing to do.
But also, I don’t know if I would be a good mother. I have so much anxiety that I worry it would affect any child I had. My dogs sense it, when I’m suffering under severe panic attacks. They freak out when I’m in a doorway, wringing my hands. I can only imagine what that would do to a child.
Also, I would have to go off my medication to have a baby, and I don’t think that’s healthy for me, my marriage, or my mental health. We considered adoption–I myself am adopted, so I certainly am in love with the idea for anyone–but we just don’t think children are right *for us*.
That doesn’t mean I don’t like children. Reader, I do, very much. But someone else’s kids. I’m a great Aunt, godmother, Nanny, friend of the family, Ms. Amy, you name it, that’s what I am. I’m good with other people’s kids (so I’ve been told). But living child-free is what is comfortable for me now, for us now.
Society has put pressure on me since birth to have children. I was told by a doctor when I was 11 that I had great “childbearing hips.” As soon as we were married, people began asking me when we were going to have a baby. And when I said I wanted to focus on my career, said people would say, “Ooohhh…” which I knew meant, “Oh, you’re one of THOSE FEMINISTS.”
Yes. Feminism gave me the right to have a baby, or not have a baby. To work, or to stay home with my children. I respect female CEOs and Stay-At-Home Moms. Because feminism gave us the right to choose, and I respect other’s choices, regardless if it’s the choice for me.